Who doesn't love getting up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, only to come back and find that your cat has done the same... in your bed. I don't. I learned something though: I may always be happy to see my cat, but I'm not always happy with what he does. Time to go change the sheets :-(

Oh and I also just want to say that I have felt really desparate lately. It's almost as if I want to be screwed by anything with a penis.......that looks like a man......with good teeth.......oh and short hair.

It's been awhile since my last post and quite a bit has happened. First of all Sohaila invited me over to her house last weekend, which I thought was weird because things were...well...weird between us, but I went over anyway. We went to see Napoleon Dynamite with her friend Lacy. Lacy cracks me up, she's just hilarous for some reason. It's nothing specific, she just has a funny personality. After the movie we went to dinner and then back to Sohaila's, where I spent the night. I guess the point I'm getting to is that I really had a lot of fun and Sohaila seemed to as well. After that weekend I thought everything between us was cool. Last Wednesday Deborah told me that she had plans to go to lunch with a friend so I made a point to ask Sohaila who she was going to lunch with. She told me she didn't know, and then later she ditched me at lunch time, claiming she didn't see me waiting for her. She said that I was taking too long. In truth, I had been sitting in the main room since before lunch time because I had my third period class in there. Anyway, she ditched me and went to lunch with Mikey and Nastassia. The reason this upset me so much was because I took all three of them to lunch almost every day last year and I thought they were my friends (except Mikey, he bugs the crap out of me). This past Friday I was suprised to hear from...my new boss. Yeah he called me and said that he had been trying to get ahold of me. I went in to work to meet the guy I will be working for/with (not my boss) and worked from 1-5. Actually, I spent most of the time trying to get my computer to work, so right now i'm reformatting it and starting from scratch. Well now we have a major project with a Friday deadline and I'm kind of stressed out. I guess I'll be working weeknight too this week.

So that was last week. This weekend I went to Oklahoma to see my sister and to sortof celebrate her birthday which was Sept. 1. I was excited to see her and to get out of town for a couple of days. We went to a football game and I sat in the student section with her because my parents couldn't get me a ticket. She was already pretty inebriated by the time we got to the stadium, so we discussed our relationship (as brother and sister) and decided to not overreact to the things each of us does that annoys the other. Anyway, we really bond when she's under the influence of alcohol. I think I like her better that way, except it scares me to think that someone might try to take advantage of her. After the football game, well more like in the 3rd quarter (OU was kicking Houston's ass so we didn't feel a need to stay) we left and met some of her friends at a bar/restaurant and she had another drink. We also ran into some of her boyfriend's friends. As soon as they found out that I was a high school senior who didn't drink or smoke they started trying to get me to do both, jokingly I think. My sister got pissed at one of them because he was trying to embarass her in front of me and so we left, which made me sad because he was really hot. After that we went to eat with my parents and one of her friends. My sister had another drink, an extra dirty martini. She was pretty drunk at this point. The whole dinner was akward because my mother kept prying into my sister's friend's love life (she had mentioned something about a friend that was more than a friend recently and my mom just wouldn't let it go) and both my sister and her friend were really drunk.

Today when I finally got home I saw my cat Paciugo (my sister named him after her favorite ice cream parlor). He ran up to me and started purring and then I realized something. My cat is the only person that I am always happy to see. He is so adorably cute and even though he doesn't always love me, I'm still always glad to see him. I want someone like that in my life, someone I am always glad to see, someone that is sweet and adorable, but hopefully someone that also loves me more than just some of the time. It actually makes me want to cry because it's just reminds me that I'm incomplete and that fact isn't going to change anytime soon. Wow that was a long post.

Nothing really exciting happened yesterday. I went to a movie with my mother last night. We saw Hero. I had already seen it earlier this week with Michelle, but my mom wanted to see it and it had been awhile since I had spent any time wither her. The night before last Sohaila invited me to see Donnie Darko at the Inwood Theatre. I thought it was kind of weird since she was getting fed up with me just a day earlier, but I went anyway. I brought my friends Michelle and Deborah along too. I didn't talk to Sohaila much at the theatre because, like I said in my last post, I don't really feel comfortable around her anymore.

On a side note I filled out my profile today. Well actually I just copied it over from my friendster profile (link). I just put all of my favorite tv shows in with my favorite movies since blogger doesn't provide a separate field for them. I clicked on one of my favorite tv shows, Wonderfalls (which was canceled after only being on the air for a few weeks), to see who else on blogger like the show. I was sad when only two other people appeared in the results. What I though was strange though was that both people also listed Dead Like Me as another of their favorite tv shows. Is this some strange coincidence or are these just the only other people on this site that have the same idea of good television as I do?

Also, if you haven't noticed yet, I have denoted the use of all names by making them bold and italic. I did this so that anyone reading my blog can quickly locate each time I might have mentioned them and then decide whether or not to be upset by it.

My first blog entry ever!

So this is what it's like to post to a blog huh?
Where do I start?
Yesterday my fears were confirmed. Lately I have felt like my friend Sohaila has been annoyed by my presence. Usually when I'm with a friend I feel completely secure about being myself and I don't have to worry about being judged. The past few times I've hung out with Sohaila I have felt her gaze. I know I am under her scrutiny. I can feel it. The point is I don't feel secure around her and I have been informed by an anonymous source that she is, in fact, uncomfortable with our friendship. Can you guess why? Because she feels pressured by me to not smoke, drink, experiment with drugs. It's true that my views on such things are pretty narrow and I do wish she would stay innocent, but there's nothing I can do to stop her. I pressure all of my friends to not do those things, but that never stopped them, nor did it make them want to stop being my friend. Anyway, I've decided I'm just going to distance my self from her a little bit and see if that makes her more comfortable, if not than she doesn't know what she wants and that isn't my problem.

On another note I really want a boyfriend, or even just someone to make out with ;-). Unfortunately I'm really picky about who I will make out with/date and I don't really know that many people. I really need to find a way to branch out and meet new people, but it's hard because I'm so shy. Wow people who read this are going to think that all I do is bitch and whine, which isn't too far from the truth but I guess I just consider this blog as an outlet for all of the things I bitch and whine about to all of my friends anyway. Don't forget that when you read my blog.